we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
