I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
