So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
