you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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