i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
vagina is talking i cant
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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