True but thats because hes a fetus.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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