Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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