he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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