so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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