Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
