think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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