theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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