5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
