The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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