Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
