Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize