If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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