i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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