i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
