My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This is my life. Enjoy the view
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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