Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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