First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
