I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
