he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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