there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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