I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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