Sry I called you an 8
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
