i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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