Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
