I bet he comes in French.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
