Dual....:-)
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just invented taco cereal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I AM VODKA MAN
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
