All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Randomize
