Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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