come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
