That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
