over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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