I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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