Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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