i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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