I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
