i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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