I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
