So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Be still, my beating vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize