I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
