Cold hands, warm shart.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
