brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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