We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
