what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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