my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize