that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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