I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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