tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize