awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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