You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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