PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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