i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
