Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
